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This board is multifaceted, crossing various topics from New Age, spirituality, metaphysical, psychology, physical issues, relationships, emotions, self-help and more. It is created for those who seek change and desire to empower themselves, to live life as an expression of who they really are in unconditional love. If you think/feel that your life and this world full of denial, fear and unlovingness is totally opposite what you desire, it is no coincidence that you are here.

To say that this board will be controversial is an understatement as it goes against almost everything society presently believes to be true about emotions, feelings, life and love. But then why wouldn't it be controversial if the desire and goal is the opposite of what is presently being experienced! To empower yourself, you need to be open to challenge everything you believe to be true, especially about love, life, emotions and feelings and also be willing to end your denials of self.

I openly share the knowledge, tools, messages and insights that I've gained through sixteen years of intensive personal experience and in working with others on their journey. Feel free to visit the various forums and posts and to also add your personal experiences, comments and questions. It is my intent that the ideas and works that will be discussed within this forum will not only expand your consciousness, but also activate your emotions and touch your heart.

In love, light and life,
John Rieger aka Shenreed

| My Profile | | My Books | | Saysame- My Blogs | | The Heart Centre - Forums | | info---at---shenreed.com |



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501-09 Being a hypocrite


B501-09 Being a Hypocrite (2006 Jan 07)

Hi everyone,

A few days ago I had another realization and insight that I want to share. I’m presently rooming with a woman and her daughter. The woman is a born again Christian who has said that she is open to new ideas. She has asked me questions and I have shared openly, and we have agreed to disagree, however, I felt that no matter what I shared it didn’t matter. If what I said fit her agenda, her beliefs according to the word of God (the bible) then it wasn’t acceptable. There were times when we’d get into religion and I showed her direct contradictions in the bible. She would say “interesting” and that would be the end of it, door closed, but the bible and her original beliefs would remain. Other times she would quote some biblical passage and I’d comment that if that’s unconditional love and the truth as you say it is, then why you are not walking your talk? Do it! Why do you say one thing yet do another? Why do you ask me or your daughter to do what you yourself do not do? She’d always have some excuse like she is only human, we’re here to suffer like Jesus, it’s not her Will but God’s Will be done, God works in mysterious ways, we’re all sinners and come short of the glory of God, that I need to accept Jesus as my savior, that I need to be filled with the Holy Ghost, the list goes on and on. I became frustrated with her hypocrisy.

I awoke around 1:00 a.m. with the realization and insight that it wasn’t her that was the hypocrite… but me! I was doing the exact same thing she was. I wasn’t walking my talk. While I’ve experienced and am aware of the flaws in organized religion that are based in conditional love, I also have awareness and experiences with unconditional love. Unconditional love is what I feel inside me, what I desire, what I want to live and experience and is what I am. But, and this is where my hierocracy comes in, I wasn’t walking my talk, I wasn’t being unconditional and “real,” I was still “trying” to be nice, kind, considerate, understanding and all the other “phony” beliefs that are part of conditional love. Although I know the difference between the two, I was still trying to get her to understand what I feel and believe unconditional love is, trying to quietly convert her like she was trying to do to me. It wasn’t about her Christian beliefs or any other religion; it’s about ME walking my talk, about me being “real” and practicing unconditional love instead of just mouthing it.

This is a good example of how others “mirror” or show us our issues that we think are their problems and issues and not ours. That it’s not what they are doing that is important, but what you are not doing. Having realized that it was then time to walk my talk and I did so the next morning as I thanked her and shared my insights. As the morning went on I got see, feel and express the things that I had ignored and denied before. Needless to say our conversations since then have been basic. She had mentioned a couple of times that she has to watch her words with me and I feel that she is withdrawing as she’s not comfortable being challenged and not in control.

It’s interesting that since my first awakening experience to unconditional love, many of my realizations had to do with me being the hypocrite but this realization is also at a different level. I say different level (scratching my head, a sign of anxiousness, stress and fear) as this involves how I interact with people on a daily basis. It’s hard to explain but I feel that I can’t be “real,” be me if I indulge in what I’ve been calling “!@#$ chat.” While I’ve been calling it when I see it, I also haven’t walked my talk. There is often a lot going on that I’m aware of during these “!@#$ chat” conversations that I didn’t get into to, including getting into a conversation in the first place. Most times it’s not me that initiates the conversation but I get drawn in and before I realize it I’m caught up and going on my old imprints, programs and beliefs. And beyond that, knowing what I know, I’m also trying to help others in the same way I was doing as I explained in the previous paragraph.

People can’t see tree for the forest. I’ve seen the forest (conditional love), been there done that, and I’ve also seen the tree (unconditional love). I’m a tree, and for people to see me I have to stand out from the forest to be noticed. Once they notice me, that there is a difference between the tree and the forest, that’s when they’ll begin their journey and it has nothing to do with me saving or helping them other than by me being “real.”

It’s interesting that all my life I’ve felt like I’m in two different worlds. I’ve tried to survive by tip-toeing my way around this world of conditional love full of denial and guilt and now it’s time to be real again. My fear is that if I’m real, if I am who I am, if I speak my truth, then I’ll be attacked or that people will withdraw and have nothing to do with me. This is nothing new as it’s bringing up past lives around these same issues of speaking my truth. Humm…. I just heard a soft voice say, “and the truth shall set you free.” Well, like the saying, you never know unless you try and unless you try, you’ll never know, here goes a leap of faith. I’ll let you know how things develop.

NOTE: In typing this piece I just realized that this also has to do with guilt. I know that every time I don’t allow, or deny my spontaneous expression, that it indicates a lack of self acceptance of who and how I am, and on how I express myself. As long as I have guilt, it stops me from being who I am and I’m actually giving my power and essence to those that I lack spontaneous expression with. When I express myself, guilt moves out and unconditional love moves in and I not only reclaim my power, but I’m free from being controlled by guilt and others who are feeding off me. Guilt was also involved in my trying to save others as I should not be better than or have anything others don’t have; I have to give to receive and all the rest of that BS (Belief System). Hey, it’s been a great day!!! Another “bonus” for expressing myself and being real. 

Love, Light and Life
John
18/Jan/2006, 3:37 pm Link to this post Send Email to shenreed   Send PM to shenreed Yahoo Blog
 
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Re: 501-10 Fear of Power


Hi everyone,

After posting 510-09 “Being a Hypercritic,” I was leaving the mall where I had been doing my WiFi (wireless internet) and I realized that this also has to do with my issues of having power. Having this feeling of power is a weird or rather foreign feeling as powerless is what I’m used to feeling. It’s not a power over someone or something, but a more of a feeling of an internal power, of being alive and being who you are. It’s not that I’m going to go out and overpower others, but rather that I will no longer choose to allow others to overpower me or rather, for me to over power myself.

Guilt and shame is also involved, as I feel guilt telling me that it’s wrong to have power, that you’ll misuse it. Now I feel it attacking my emotions saying that you can’t just express what you feel willy nilly, you have to have control, there are rules, morality and the right way of doing things. I’m thinking to myself, yea bring it on, and keep yakking away, let me hear everything you have to say. Now I hear it saying, there, that’s it, see, now you’re getting cocky, smug, a !@#$ know it all. You’re going to blow it for all of us. You’ve never had real power and you don’t know how to handle it. I heard the word “her” and then I felt a shift and the word “it” was repeated over and over as if trying to erase what was said. “Her” is the right word as the Will has and is the power, but until now she has been repressed and denied. Free Will, that’s what this New World and New Era is all about.

Humm, now it’s shut up… nada, not a word… and that’s OK as my intent is to move guilt and unloving light out of and off of me and to allow unconditional love to fill the space that guilt and unloving light have occupied. Now I feel like it’s back there with unloving light re-grouping whatever forces they have left for another attack.

I’ve been having back pains off and on these past two weeks and now they are back again this time more in the lower back and up between the shoulder blades over my heart. I feel that it also has to do with allowing my emotions expression and in recognizing and moving guilt out of me. I feel the pain in my back has to do with healing my chakras and the issues that are “moving” there or that want to move.

Humm, It’s interesting that with this feeling of power I’m also noticing a feeling of fearlessness. That whatever comes up is OK, that…(pause) I feel I was blocked there for a moment as my mind went blank. What I was feeling is almost gone but it was like no matter what, I’m going to be OK although I might not feel like that in the moment I’m threatened or attacked, but when I allow myself to be me and to express myself, then I’ll be empowered and will have nothing to fear. By threatened I mean feeling the presence of unloving light. This feeling of power is not like anything I’ve felt before, not like a feeling of power that comes from an accomplishment or winning. It’s not about that kind of power. Also at this moment I have a renewed jest for life and for my writing. Humm, I think the word is passion.

JR
20/Jan/2006, 1:12 pm Link to this post Send Email to shenreed   Send PM to shenreed Yahoo Blog
 


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