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This board is multifaceted, crossing various topics from New Age, spirituality, metaphysical, psychology, physical issues, relationships, emotions, self-help and more. It is created for those who seek change and desire to empower themselves, to live life as an expression of who they really are in unconditional love. If you think/feel that your life and this world full of denial, fear and unlovingness is totally opposite what you desire, it is no coincidence that you are here.

To say that this board will be controversial is an understatement as it goes against almost everything society presently believes to be true about emotions, feelings, life and love. But then why wouldn't it be controversial if the desire and goal is the opposite of what is presently being experienced! To empower yourself, you need to be open to challenge everything you believe to be true, especially about love, life, emotions and feelings and also be willing to end your denials of self.

I openly share the knowledge, tools, messages and insights that I've gained through sixteen years of intensive personal experience and in working with others on their journey. Feel free to visit the various forums and posts and to also add your personal experiences, comments and questions. It is my intent that the ideas and works that will be discussed within this forum will not only expand your consciousness, but also activate your emotions and touch your heart.

In love, light and life,
John Rieger aka Shenreed

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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


jannokas
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Posts: 131
(1/6/07 10:43 pm)
Reply happy emoticon
Thank you for confirming the possibility of a healing, because i am in a dire need of it!
When i think about that kind of suffering such as - can't believe this unloving event is happening to me - it just makes me so sad, because i know that there are situations that are so traumatizing and it's so hard to understand what is happening and why and so you try to pretend that nothing has happened, because you don't want to loose credibility amongst other people...it's such a pain. Feelings can be so downright extreme and complicated.

Thank you for your current observations. It will take me some time to immerse in them. At the moment i agree with everything you've said. My healing intent is probably quite weak. If you want to know then i'm not sure what this healing is all about and where it all goes. I know that i can trust you though.

I will now say to myself repeatedly - i choose to release control of my feelings and let them flow naturally! That makes for an excellent affirmation!

Interestingly i have indeed mixed up 2 separate 'things' - 1)healing pain, which was caused at some time and denied and has resurfaced, 2)trying to prevent pain from re-occurring - but not denying any feelings all the while.

I would not have noticed any of this without your help. I'm now tearing up from thankfulness...really! Wonderful real tears!

Janno - "One Big Heart is a loving combination of many smaller ones working together."
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


jannokas
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Posts: 132
(1/6/07 10:49 pm)
Reply About the illusions of life...
I would like to just briefly look back at the original theme we had and ask you - are illusions bad?

Say believeing that you have a loving Earth family (which is what you imagine to be so when you're born into a group of souls)...is it necessarily an illusion in a sense that 'have to tear it down and see what it really is by separating yourself from them and rebelling against them and not trusting them' (reject this feeling of comfort it offers and look at it as though it were a sin) or is it wiser to just let it be and not break it apart or perhaps not even look into it?

You know what i'm trying to ask you? Are illusions ok? Or are they meant to be torn down?

Janno
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


shenreed
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(1/6/07 11:53 pm)
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  Re: About the illusions of life...
Hi Janno,

The dictionary defines illusion as ...................

il•lu•sion (-lzhn) n.
1. a. An erroneous perception of reality.
1. b. An erroneous concept or belief.
2. The condition of being deceived by a false perception or belief.
3. Something, such as a fantastic plan or desire, that causes an erroneous belief or perception.
4. Illusionism in art.
5. A fine transparent cloth, used for dresses or trimmings.

We are born into the families of our choosing... One that will provide us with the opportunity to experience what we need in order to heal what it is that we have re-incarnated to heal and to recover the lost parts of us.

You don't have to reject your family or those family members that desire to continue their denial because once you are real with yourself, that automatically includes any words or actions you have with them. If denial and not being real is their choice, they will be only too willing and happy to reject you to get away from heaving to deal with what they are denying...

The reason that "family" ties feel so strong and important is because that is where our major imprinting, programs and beliefs originated. Just because they feel strong and important doesn't mean that they are right or loving and that is the illusion you refer to. If as a child your parents thought nothing of say....of kicking the dog, you would not think that there was anything wrong with that action and that it was a so-called "normal" thing to do. You would automatically continue to do it until such time that you had the awareness that something was wrong with this belief and action. That conditioning, not only applies to everything associated with a family but also applies to every imprint, program and belief that every society and culture has in the manner of customs and traditions, religions and so on.

So, to finally answer your question, are illusions bad? The answer is that depends on the person and their essence. If they are of unloving essence, then illusion, delusion, confusion and denial of the truth is their nature and so it is good. If on the other hand, the person is of loving essence then those previously mentioned characteristics are not part of their natural state of being and therefor would feel off, not good, real or loving.

"Hi, how are you?"
"Oh fine, great!.. and you?"
"Oh couldn't be better!"

That's a common DENIAL based greeting people say without any real thought or feeling.... They are trying to create the illusion that they are happy and that their world is perfect... Living a lie, an illusion yet calling it "real life" If living the lie, the illusion of being happy makes you happy, then you are in your right place. If it doesn't, then you have a choice to make.

John
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


jannokas
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Posts: 133
(1/8/07 3:13 pm)
Reply About the illusions of life...
Hey John,
Now you've really hit the nail with this one!
I'm currently reading this book 'the power is within you' and the author reckons words are powerful enough to create a state of mind: say you're feeling negative about things and then you decided to think positive and say 'i'm happy, dserving and all is well'...although it may not be so...it may be really f**ked up and maybe you wanna commit a suicide, but you can't afford to stew in self-pity and go around saying to yourself 'it all sucks...' That just doesn't work.
Maybe you are saying that when you've got issues then you better deal with them, let them out!!? Or are you saying that when i feel like crap then it's perfectly fine to think in the frame of mind of that certain feeling? Or do you believe it's much wiser to try and cheer oneself up with positive affirmations? Obviouisly when i don't feel very well i don't go around pretending i'm fine, instead there is a black cloud over my head and i wanna find a way out and i start trying all sorts of ways. The release of emotions is one way. You're probably saying that it all stems from past experiences. Is that so?
In the present tense i have nothing at all to feel down about, but i'm still feeling down. That truly has got to be a past experience, because if something pisses me off in the present it happens so freely and flows so naturally that i don't even pay attention to it anymore. But how do you go about unlocking the past feelings???

Just a moment ago i received a very angry and rude letter from someone i have never met. It was on a website, where i have my pictures and receiving something like that is quite upsetting and in fact i feel that my life is in danger. Luckily i don't know that person, but you know receiving a threatening message from someone is downright scary...what did i do to upset him? Nothing at all. That person is obviously an angry person and let it all out towards me...but why? Is this pointing out to my own issues that need to be dealt with (message from god?) or is it just an arbitrary thing?

Janno
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


shenreed
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Posts: 79
(1/8/07 4:19 pm)
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  Re: About the illusions of life...
Hi Janno,

While you have many questions, I feel that they can best be answered by yourself by starting over. By that I mean that you need to begin at where we began this conversation many months ago and then not only re-read, but re-feel what you were feeling during those posts and experiences.

Where you ended off in denial a few months ago and then moved away, was a choice you made, but that choice has also set you back. Now you are asking similar questions to what you did back then and can't remember or rather have chosen to forget the steps that brought you to that BIG healing point.

While you may have opened some small doors, you have also closed the BIG one... as behind that BIG door lies your greatest fear and also your greatest power. Take your time and don't "rush" just to re-read.... but allow yourself to feel and express any emotions that surface to get you back to that BIG door. When you slammed that door, you also pushed back and closed the door on any emotions that you had been moving to get you to that point... That's why in some ways, you feel that things haven't really changed.. and the same old feelings are still there... Now you know why....

What's being reflected to you with that letter on your website is your own denied anger and rage... Right now it is out there in an electronic form, (you can compare that to the Astral plane) but unless you deal with your denied anger and rage, it will be coming at you in the physical plane... This is not meant to scare you, but to inform you.... But if it scares you, be scared.... and also let yourself express your denied terror.... and then your denied heartbreak and then your anger and rage and let the emotions cycle through you... to get you to reach the parts of you that you need to heal....

John
"Healing begins in the "

Let me know how things go...
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


jannokas
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Posts: 134
(1/12/07 3:20 pm)
Reply About the illusions of life...
This is a big question - in our conversations you mentioned 'All denial based Humans and those pretending to be Human' and to this point i'm still not quite sure who are those beings? Do they exist inside me or are they actual everyday people that i might even know and not be aware of their unloving nature (unlovingness as a dark soul)?
Is it true that real people walking this planet right now can be dark down on the basic cells? I'm not sure i understand any of this...All i know is that everybody has got personal issues and everyone goes differently about solving them/or healing rather?
Right now i get the feeling that whatever those beings are, they can't do anything to me other than initiate lessons of life and they exist inside me rather than inside anyone else...and they try to make me believe that they have an actual human form...say somebody gets very angry with me and straight away i see the demon in them rather than inside myself...because in the end of the day it is my own hate and unforgiveness! Isn't that so?

Janno
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


jannokas
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Posts: 135
(1/12/07 3:52 pm)
Reply About the illusions of life...One HUGE issue!
I'm currently living with my partner and the way we became partners was quite a mess really. I'd just recently (3-4 years ago) 'ran away' (as i had school and a family back in Estonia) from home to get out to the BIG WORLD. So i travelled to Cyprus, where i was offered a job. I took that chance and met Steve and all his friends with whom i've stayed with since then. At the beginning of our relationship i was very happy to have found him, but then somewhere inbetween the relationship i realized that he is too old for me, but then again it's ok. It suits me in a way that i have a home and a loving partner. He knows i think he's slightly too old for me and has acted out as my life guide. Without him i wouldn't live a life of the comfort as i am now - i have a roof over my head and a sense of home and belonging...but where do i belong? I have recently been completely accepeted by both my parents and gained massive insights on my father - who in fact is a cupboard BI-sexual...I have thought of splitting with Steve a lot of the times, but then again i don't want to give up. I don't really care about anybody's looks as long as there are real feelings. Steve has exposed real feelings towards me, but i feel that he is the dark essence - he is manipulating and controlling. Our relationship is conditioned by him and i'm merely following all of his rules, because he is older and 'knows better'. I feel like i'm a sheep. I have been so far. On the other side of things i do not want to be alone. I'm afraid of the split. But my life has become very controlled by him. I'm at the crossroads...My mom says that 'don't fight' meaning to say that try and stay calm and don't loose your temper over things the way she used to when i was a kid and living under her rules and conditioning. So i have left one tyrant to end up under another tyrant's terror. That's how it feels at time. He doesn't ever use physical violence, but very often comes across as dissatisfied - although he always reminds me that i am free to do whatever i please and doesn't hold anything against me and doesn't hold resentment against me - i still feel that it's not quite true. He has not been accepted by his parents, who are 75+ and Greek heritage which is very intolerant towards homosexuals...if there is a gay person in a greek family they are rejected...not all, but most...

Help!!!

Janno
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


shenreed
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Posts: 81
(1/12/07 8:40 pm)
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  Re: About the illusions of life...
Hi Janno,

That quote came from (my post:45) on page 1 of the link you gave, I desperately need some advice please, That conversation continues with (my post:47) on the same thread.

What is confusing us is that there are Humans of loving essence that "feel" are then there are humans of unloving essence and of "spirit" polarity, that ACT kind, caring and loving but in actuality have no "real" feelings. They go around ACTING as if they have no problem with their feelings or none that can't be solved by whatever means they think and say will work. They "put on a show" to convince the Humans of loving essence that their "feelings" are wrong and if they are challenged, they will twist and turn the truth and pretend that they are the victim. They will use, intimidation, interrogation, being aloft or will play the "oh poor me" as well as use guilt and shame to plant the seed of doubt in the minds of Humans of loving essence about our feelings. Once doubt has been created and then accepted by DENIAL of following and expressing what our feelings tell us are true, we are caught. And like a fish on a hook, they reel us in. This is not only their plan, but their means of survival.

Now to add to the confusion, there is also unloving essence that openly does evil and violent crimes, BUT, at the same time, there is also loving essence, that has been abused for so long and has either been denied or has denied expressing their feelings to the point that they now take out their "denied anger on rage" and will do the same evil and violent acts.

Lets put this scenario in another way that is obvious and blatant.... If a person was to come up to you and say, I will take care of you and give you everything you desire. I will tell you I love you. I will be nice, kind, caring and loving.. I will tell you lies and I will control and manipulate you to no end, just to fcuk with your mind and feelings in ways that you have yet to imagine. I'm going to use and abuse you and make you suffer mentally, physically and most importantly, emotionally as that is what really gets me off. You will not know your ass from a hole in the ground when I get finished with you.. Say YES, that you accept my offer and that you will you come and live with me for the rest of your so-called life.

If the unloving Humans were that real and honest about their real intentions, no Human of loving essence would fall for it, so instead, they get what they want by playing the game of being nice, kind and loving to hook you, and, like the fish, once you are hooked, your dinner.

"Food for thought"
John

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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


Spiritual Awareness
    > Questions & Answers
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Unusual Question Page 4
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shenreed
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Posts: 82
(1/12/07 8:50 pm)
Reply
  About the illusions of life...One HUGE issue!
Hi Janno

In that same thread of my last post, I did a post on being real ('06 Sept 14 Post:50) where I talked about being given a sandwich that you felt was bad, but you took it anyway and became sick...You replied in your post 62 that you had a real life example of that sandwich in your present relationship


Later in your Blog(September 27, 2006 Insights…7:58 pm) you talked about your abuse as a child by your mother and an absent father and how you left home only to be further abused.

I'm re-capping this to show you that it's all repeating itself.. it's just in a different form with different players and experiences but it's still the same "bad" sandwich....

Only now you are older and while you are able to take of yourself, you have also chosen to be dependant on another "Mother" figure. As you mentioned, you still are re-playing the same experience that you did with your mother as a child and you are afraid that if you are real and express what is really going on, that you will be tossed out and have no where to go, that you will be alone, unloved and unwanted. just like before only that time you ran away.

So you bite your tongue, keep your mouth shut and make the best of a bad situation... after all, it's better to live with the devil you know than one you don't know. And as you do that, you also blame yourself and your feelings for your lack of happiness in your life... but then you rationalize that even if you're not happy, at least you can be gay.... As long as we have attachments to people, places and things, we can never find or be our real self as real healing is impossible because we are afraid to loose what we think is love, even though our heart and soul is screaming out that IT ISN'T LOVE.

What happened on '06 Sept 29 as you describe in your blog, which I replied to on Page 3 My Post:71 (9/29/06 )The Illusions... of what we call life... is or was a KEY POINT in your healing.

What happened that day was to get you to the point of being aware of what was really going on and to not deny or go past it. It has been my experience that in going past such a healing trigger, or opportunity, that we not only close the door on our fragment but also on the work that we did to get us to that door. When we are activated, we always have four choice,1) Run 2) fight 3) give up, 4) surrender to love

Now... we not only have to go back over a similar path to be re-activated, but we also have to address our past issues of slamming the door on the lost fragments that we said we were accepting and going to heal... It (our denied fragments) doesn't feel safe, in fact they feel even more afraid, less trusting, unsure, alone, confused and more hopelessness. Does that pretty well sum up what you're feeling?

While you may have exposed and healed some issues with your parents, that little boy is still OUT THERE.. still waiting for you to stand up and say that what you and he are experiencing in the moment you are feeling it, isn't love. But just the very thought of challenging a loved one and expressing yourself also brings up all your fears that I just mentioned.....

It's a hard choice you have to make. Stay in the hell hole and lose your Soul or turn around and surrender to love. Love yourself unconditionally to express what you have always denied and walk away from everything that you thought and believed was love...but isn't.

"Food for thought"
John

 
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


jannokas
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Posts: 137
(1/12/07 8:57 pm)
Reply Re: About the illusions of life...One HUGE issue!
Another thing i'm just not at all sure of...what is this Big Door??? In what way does it appear to have been closed by me?
 

Apparently you've already answered that question...i didn't see your reply...

There is some difficult choices to be made...please send me light so I won't lose my way again...

Janno
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