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This board is multifaceted, crossing various topics from New Age, spirituality, metaphysical, psychology, physical issues, relationships, emotions, self-help and more. It is created for those who seek change and desire to empower themselves, to live life as an expression of who they really are in unconditional love. If you think/feel that your life and this world full of denial, fear and unlovingness is totally opposite what you desire, it is no coincidence that you are here.

To say that this board will be controversial is an understatement as it goes against almost everything society presently believes to be true about emotions, feelings, life and love. But then why wouldn't it be controversial if the desire and goal is the opposite of what is presently being experienced! To empower yourself, you need to be open to challenge everything you believe to be true, especially about love, life, emotions and feelings and also be willing to end your denials of self.

I openly share the knowledge, tools, messages and insights that I've gained through sixteen years of intensive personal experience and in working with others on their journey. Feel free to visit the various forums and posts and to also add your personal experiences, comments and questions. It is my intent that the ideas and works that will be discussed within this forum will not only expand your consciousness, but also activate your emotions and touch your heart.

In love, light and life,
John Rieger aka Shenreed

| My Profile | | My Manuscript | | Saysame | | My Blogs | | THC - Tribe | | shenreed---at---yahoo.com |







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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


jannokas
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Posts: 143
(1/18/07 10:30 pm)
Reply Hey John!
I think we've finally hit the cord here...i have been so blind to what you've been saying. When you said FEAR OF i didn't realize you meant this phrase has to be followed by something particular. I did come to realize that my basic fear is the fear of abandonement and ridiculising by other people, hence the even worse fear that has been controlling my life: fear of crowded places. I am so very afraid of people coming together as a group, because i always feel that they do that to either laugh at me or make me feel small compared to their 'numbers'. Amazingly i even fear the same of complete strangers. I feel as though say a bunch of young kids in a group would look at me and laugh at me, because i am obvsiouly feeling embarrassed and flustered. That's what i went through in basic school, where i had the worst bullies you could imagine - completely heartless and unforgiving, because i was constantly under stress form the situation at home. I never really bonded with other kids in basic school...i just wanted to be left alone. But obviously these other kids assumed i was arrogant and sometimes they turned the whole classroom against me...it was a terrible pain...and it all boiled down to the very simple fact that i was 1) gay - definitely not accepted by the Estonian society, 2) i was shy - not bonding with the other 'cool' kids made me look like 'uphisownarse'-person...which i wasn't...

Is this a way forward in my healing process?

Janno
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


shenreed
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(1/19/07 1:04 am)
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  Fears and Judgments
Hi Janno,

Yes, our "fear of" are seemingly endless when you become aware of them...

You talk about your fears and that's OK.... but.... at the very end, you justify, belittle and negate them by your judgments (1) and (2) ....

You need to explore why you have those judgments (beliefs) or those emotions so that you to find the denied and hidden fear.... Then you need to go into the fear.... to root out the cause.... and begin to heal it...

John
"Healing begins in the Heart"

Edit: PS: Your judgments are also a form of self-hatred as you blame yourself and not the ones that harmed you. Blaming the ones that harmed you is hatred for others... and so the cycle continues until you decide to get off the not so merry go round and stop hating yourself...

Edited by: shenreed at: 1/19/07 9:51 am
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


jannokas
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(1/19/07 10:19 pm)
Reply It's true...
You're right! I have been beating myself up about every little thing all the time and obvsiouly critising myself and belittling myself...i feel that when i have some healing to do, then i just can't sit down peacefully and enjoy something. I want the healing now! And another thing is that while you give excellent advice i get the feeling that you want your advice to be shocking and you serve it in a way that makes me upset and makes me wanna cry...and not speak to you ever again...
Do you mean for me to not sit comfortably and suffer until i dont' know what is wrong with me...or is it ok for me to enjoy myself? And not worry about what you've got to say?

Janno
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


shenreed
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(1/19/07 11:09 pm)
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  Re: It's true...
Hey janno,

My advice would not be shocking if you had no charge, issue or button that was being activated... one that you don't want to deal with... You ask me a question, I give you a reply... the choice is yours what you do with it...

Again, I'm not picking on you but here is some serious give your head a shake, "food for thought"....

If you think and believe, that you can only heal yourself when you are comfortable, at peace and enjoying yourself... Think again???? Why would you want to leave this place and go to where you don't want to go, to feel what you don't want to feel? When you are in that space, you might even convince yourself that you don't have any issues to heal and that everything is fine and dandy!!!! Why would you want to heal... why change a good thing when you are in denial and having a great time...

Healing doesn't work that way... never did... never will.

But like in every situation you have choices and if choose the easy path and you deny long and hard enough, you will get to that place of comfort and peace, but you will also discover that you "feel" less.... including less joy... as everything now becomes shades of gray, like in the movie "Pleasantville". The other choice is what you are complaining about... but again... it's your choice... your journey.

John


Edited by: shenreed at: 1/19/07 11:11 pm
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


jannokas
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(1/21/07 6:32 pm)
Reply Ok!
Your replies nearly always leave a bitter after-taste in my mouth .

Janno
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


soul work
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Posts: 55
(1/22/07 6:20 am)
Reply Re: OK!
Janno, I think you'll find thats because they ring true deep within your soul. And you know why that is , its because you have to face the things you fear. You feel more comfort being with your friend, so you hold onto the relationship even though you feel trapped within it, but the truth is, "YOU!" have chosen to stay, your friend cant make you stay, you have chosen this path and so , you reap what you sow.

Its a difficult time for you <I think you'll find that John understands that, but he has given a great deal of time, to help you understand what is really taking place in your life. Sometimes when the truth is before us and we don't want to see, we look to find the fault anywhere but within ourselves. Its easier that way then its not our problem its the other persons. When in truth we new all a long it was within us, thats why your searching and continue to search for guidance.

I know when you have worked through the things you would much Rather not acknowledge, you'll see O so clearly how much harder you made things by denying there existence. Actually we all do it, your not alone, every soul thats here has this pattern of avoidance, but its the ego that tells you its to hard to face your issues. So you need to take control, go find a healer who you relate you, take the time and work on your soul .Not here on the INTERNET but in the real world, there are many people who have the skills to assist you.

I wish you well on your journey, have courage and know that Divine guidance will lead you where your souls healing will be found.
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


jannokas
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Posts: 146
(1/22/07 10:15 pm)
Reply Hey!

John, you said 'the other thing is what you're complaining about'...what was that? Can you point it out?

Funny how most of the time your guidance sounds a bit like my inner critic...or is it just me mixing them up?

Soul Work, thanks for the kind word . I believe when i need a real healer he/she will pop out of nowhere...like everything else in my life has happened in its own perfect order. More than anything i am looking forward to finding a real life Reiki master to connect with . I've been calling out to a teacher in my meditations .

Janno
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


shenreed
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(1/22/07 11:52 pm)
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  Wanting a "quick fix"
Hey janno,

What I meant by, "the other choice" is your stated intent to heal, and knowing that that means facing your issues and fears..not denying them. When the universe brings about an experience so that your issues come up for your healing, you deny and complain about them. You want to heal.. but you want it to be quick, easy, comfortable and fun. You would like to put any conflict, anxiety or fear on HOLD... until such time that you think that YOU have CONTROL of the situation and that there will no longer be any conflict, anxiety or fear.

Let me give yo a physical example... You are driving in a car and from out of no where a truck suddenly appears and is coming straight towards you. In this moment you have conflict, anxiety and fear and you would like to put that experience on HOLD and just stop everything in it tracks, or better yet, make it all go away, as you don't want to deal with the situation.

Furthermore, you would really prefer that this wasn't happening and that you were back at the restaurant sipping your latte and looking at the ocean. What you would also like to happen is that the latte and the ocean would somehow help you heal your issues with the truck. Truck is on (PAGE 1) and the LATTE is on (PAGE 2)

"Denial of the truth, doesn't change the truth, it just alters your perception of it."

John

Edited by: shenreed at: 1/22/07 11:59 pm
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


jannokas
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Posts: 148
(1/23/07 5:09 pm)
Reply Wanting a "quick fix"???
Hmm. The first perception i had of you was...this guy is wise and knows something i don't. I believe that perception isn't a denial of how i feel about you. So...what is a denial??? I can't see how a denial works, because i allow myself feel everything that i need to feel and what really comes to me. I can honestly say i don't know about anything in me that i want to shove away/push away and control. I just don't see it.

The example you gave me is one of these: quick, easy, comfortable and fun, because it made me feel that way.

We're separating with Steve, but i just don't see what i'm denying here. Doesn't my intuition take care of everything??? I choose the free flow of my feelings and no control of them. The thing is that...one minute i feel that indeed we need to separate and the next minute it's all lah-de-dah...but not in the negative sense...so my feelings can be very very confusing and even unreliable in the sense of making decisions based on them. I prefer to channel my feelings into say music, where i can express them in a different manner.

Now perhaps i need to ask you...do i need any healing at all then? Perhaps i shouldn't call out for a healing experience from the Universe? Could it be that i'm calling out to an experience that i don't even really need??? Is that possible? I mean maybe i'm asking for something that i don't know what it is and i don't even really want it...that's why i still appear to be denying the 'so called truth'...?

Janno
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


shenreed
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Posts: 91
(1/23/07 9:50 pm)
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  May you find what you are looking for
Hi Janno,

There is no answer that I can give you that will satisfy your questions and end your confusion. All that I can say is:

To know what love is, you have to know what love is not.
To know what life is, you have to know what life is not.
To know what denial is, you have to know what denial is not.

The only way to know is through experience. Experience and reflection, and then more experience and more reflection, until such time that you not only see, but can feel what is the truth of each for youself.

May you find what ever you are looking for.

John.
"Healing begins in the Heart"

Edited by: shenreed at: 1/23/07 9:51 p
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