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This board is multifaceted, crossing various topics from New Age, spirituality, metaphysical, psychology, physical issues, relationships, emotions, self-help and more. It is created for those who seek change and desire to empower themselves, to live life as an expression of who they really are in unconditional love. If you think/feel that your life and this world full of denial, fear and unlovingness is totally opposite what you desire, it is no coincidence that you are here.

To say that this board will be controversial is an understatement as it goes against almost everything society presently believes to be true about emotions, feelings, life and love. But then why wouldn't it be controversial if the desire and goal is the opposite of what is presently being experienced! To empower yourself, you need to be open to challenge everything you believe to be true, especially about love, life, emotions and feelings and also be willing to end your denials of self.

I openly share the knowledge, tools, messages and insights that I've gained through sixteen years of intensive personal experience and in working with others on their journey. Feel free to visit the various forums and posts and to also add your personal experiences, comments and questions. It is my intent that the ideas and works that will be discussed within this forum will not only expand your consciousness, but also activate your emotions and touch your heart.

In love, light and life,
John Rieger aka Shenreed

| My Profile | | My Books | | Saysame- My Blogs | | The Heart Centre - Forums | | info---at---shenreed.com |



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Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


This thread had been copied and edited for length and I've combined several posts under one post for ease of reading. I've also activated all the links in the original thread so that you can also have direct access to them. The original posts can be found on Spiritual Awareness > Questions & Answers > I desperately need some advice, please.

This thread offers many aspects of love essence in denial, but with and open mind and heart, where denials end and healing begins. And although, as of the end of September, Jannokas has moved; I'm sure that I and we have not heard the last of him and his healing journey.

Before this thread and it's discussions, I was involved in the discussions on another thread on the same board found at Emotionally, mentally, spiritually.... wore out!! I included that thread as I feel that it offers an opposite perspective and many aspects of love essence in denial, but with a closed mind and heart. It also the presents a look at how evil thinks and works. Althouh Lisa closed the discussions, the thread and posts remain on the board for all to read.

John
"Healing begins in the Heart"


***************************** And so we begin the journey *****************************
Spiritual Awareness > Questions & Answers >I desperately need some advice, please.
Page 1

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Theadebra (5/21/06 1:53 pm)


I desperately need some advice, please.
Quite a few years ago I watched an episode of Oprah when she had Gary Zukov as a guest. The only thing I can remember about that episode was when Gary Zukov said "Honour your calling and the universe will bow down to you".

I have never forgotten that statement. It made such an impact on me that when I heard it, it seemed like the entire world just ground to a halt and everything just froze in place. For a few seconds it seemed like my immediate surroundings appeared to shrink or else I seemed to be expanding and then suddenly everything was normal again.

I have meditated and I have asked my Guardian Angel for help but I just cannot seem to work out what my " Calling " is. This is beginning to really bug me. I know that I am here on earth for a reason but I just cannot figure out what it is that I am supposed to be doing.

I just know that there has to be more to my life than getting up in the morning, having breakfast, going to work, coming home, having supper, going to bed and then starting the whole boring routine all over again the next day, and the next and the next, etc, etc. I am in such a rut now that my days pass by without me even realising. I don't want to die having done nothing with my life. That would be a very sad waste of a God given gift.

Please could you give some advice on how I might go about the right way to find my true calling?

Thank you so much for your kind help.

shenreed (5/21/06 9:27 pm)
Re: I desperately need some advice, please.


Hi Thea,

As I read your post I was reminded of a mesasge that I got from my guides a couple of years ago. I'd like to share with you as I feel it will give you some insight. It simply stated...

"In healing and integrating our-selves, we not only fulfill our personal path, but we also establish the ability to fulfill our destiny path."

The journey on the outside begins with the journey to the inside. I wouldn't say anything more right now as I feel that you need to "feel" the true meaning of that message.
Reed
"Healing begins in the Heart"
Edited by: shenreed at: 6/1/06 8:06 am

mikesworld (5/31/06 8:23 pm)
Re: I desperately need some advice, please.


Hi Thea
I too used to desperately need to know my calling . As one person put it "I want to live the width of my life not just the length of it"

mikesworld (5/31/06 9:10 pm)
Re: I desperately need some advice, please.

Hi Thea
I too used to desperately need to know my calling . As one person put it "I want to live the width of my life not just the length of it".
There are many many awesome things happening on this planet as well as the terrible and I wanted to be in the thick of it . I wanted to join in the wonderful "callings" lots of other people like Gary Zukov are gifted with .
Oprah's most popular guest ever was Erin Tierney Kramp who had a "near death experience" and she said she was told her "role" was just to let the enormous love she was given to flow through her -- and she sure did , she had a huge effect on Oprah's 200 million tv audience .
Despite my best efforts to get going my life has stayed the same but the message finally got through -- this is what I came here to do with this life . What is happening is what was meant to and I'm experiencing what I need to experience and trying to be more than I am being .
I still want to roll up my sleeves and work "out there" but it's easier now that I'm trusting that my guardian angel , spirit guide and higher self , know what they are doing and therefore I'm not doing anything wrong .
Thanks for sharing the journey , fellow traveller . We all effect many other's lives , it's just a matter of how we do it.
Warmest Regards
Mike


Scuzzlebutt (6/2/06 7:22 am)
Re: I desperately need some advice, please.


I sypathise a whole lot. I am 35 and only recently have I discovered what it is that I really want to do. Nothing really interested me and I sank into a really deep depressive state. I often questioned what my life's purpose was, and I really do not know why, but only recently did I discover certain information concerning this very topic! Over the past 18 years I have learnt so much about spirituality, the soul, earth's and human history and development, care of the human body, extra-terrestrial involvement in human achievement and development - but NOT what direction I should take in life.
I have run the course in anger, frustration, hopelessness, tiredness and the feeling that life is passing me by time and time again. Over the past few months I have felt a non-human presence on the left hand side of my body and finally slow healing. I am definitely 'not yet up to scratch,' so to speak, but I am starting to see what could very possibly be my calling here on the earth plane.

My advice is as others here have also stated is to contact your Guardian Angels. I hated life so much for far too long.

shenreed (6/2/06 8:17 am)
Re: I desperately need some advice, please.


Hi Scuzzlebutt,

I just had to jump in here and say that I can feel where you are coming from but I have to say that it's not life that we hate.... it's the absence of life, or that which takes life, love and joy away from us that we hate....

That is why we here; we are searching for love and life...That is why we feel at a loss to know our direction or path, as the path of unconditional love and life is one that we have never trurly known. We no longer belong or fit into this Old World and the New World is one that we are only just begining to create...

What we will be doing here on Earth will be affecting (all) of creation and that is why more and more "beings" not of this World are being drawn here... from both sides.....

Reed
"Healing begins in the Heart"



Last edited by shenreed, 4/Oct/2006, 6:57 pm
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Hey there!


jannokas (9/2/06 7:55 pm)
Hey!


Very well said! What else could be the disappointment if not the lack of life...rather than the fullness of it. There are so many misperceptions like these, which all need to be corrected by someone as wise as you. Almost every day i learn a lesson so to speak and suddenly i realize that the only problems in my life so far were those subconscious messages. Once you're past one of them, it sure feels like a very heavy weight has been lifted.

Janno

shenreed (9/8/06 8:06 pm)
Re: Hey!


Hi Jannokas,

It's nice to meet you, and I must say that I feel like I know you..

It may sound strange, but I look for and welcome what people call problems. It has been my experience that when I truly deal with these issues in a real and self-loving way, that they are no longer problems, but stepping stones to a new awareness and a new found power within me that is no longer afraid of these old problems and in fact, the old problems cease to be a problem as they no longer exist. The more you deal with your fears, the more fear-less you become and not in the normal way of denying your fears and doing it anyway. I have found that denying a problem doesn't solve it, but merely makes us believe that it is. Denying the truth doesn't change the truth, just our perception of it.

Reed

"Healing begins in the heart"


MissLisa62 (9/9/06 7:16 am)
 Re: Hey!


Hi Reed

I just wanted to say a big AMEN to what you have written!!

Big (((HUGZ))) to you
Lisa
Spiritual Awareness Forum
Embrace your past and prepare for your future by becoming aware of your present!

jannokas (9/9/06 8:16 pm)
Hey there!


It's funny you should say that, Reed, i feel that way too, like i have met you in person.
I'm gonna skip the (very worshipped) doubting thing here and simply agree with you.

It's very wise to enjoy problems. A bit perverted in a funny way .

At times i'm actually asking for more problems, because things seem to be too easy, but at times problems can be so unacceptable. Some problems can be so over-whelming that i feel as though i might not live through it. Sometimes panic simply takes over my head and causes such agony...that's when i find myself ALIVE. It doesn't seem all that rosy, when it's happening, but as i'm past it...then it all feels like a fairy-tale.

Perhaps you can tell me your birthdate (without the year if you wish), that might explain this feeling of familiarity?

Love and compassion.
Janno

shenreed (9/9/06 9:22 pm)
Re: Hey there!


Hi

My birthday is October 31, 1944 .... A Scorpian or a Monkey in Chineese astrology...

My feeling is that we have had several past lives including those as ET, Pleadian comes in strong... and speaking of Chinese astrology, I also feel chinese past lives there also...

As I'm writing this I keep getting he feeling that you are going to be coming into "silence".... I don't know what or when that will be, but I feel that it will be a stopping of space and time and in that you will experience the silence that will begin the transformation of your life and an awakening of who you are and your true purpose.

Expect the unexpected and when you are aware, follow your inner guidance and your heart and you will know what to do.

Well I didn't expect to give you a message but there you go.. expect the unexpected.

Shenreed


jannokas (9/10/06 6:17 pm)
HA!


What a lovely reply from you and what a marvellous thought of having known each other from Pleiades...when i think stuff like that it brings a tear into my eyes...tear of humbleness!

I checked your numerological report and you're living A VERY INTERESTING LIFE. It is in no way mediocre. Right now you are experiencing pinnacle number 1, the 4th and last pinnacle in your life. That normally indicates leadership. You are a leader of some kind. How cool!

You about the stopping of time...i'm already experiencing bits here and there...It's normally during moments of intense worry...suddenly things just stop...and i get this feeling like...who am i...where am i? You know...a feeling like i don't exist...

You know...perhaps you think i'm numb...but i honestly don't expect anything...do you think i should?

XxXxX
Janno


shenreed (9/10/06 7:20 pm)
Re: Ahhhh -HA!


Hi,

The silence I was getting and still am, is a moment quite the opposite of what you describe, in that you will know who you are and things beyond belief. You will see reality with a clarity that will be beyond words, you will see how it is and how it can be.

Thanks for the numerological report.. I was into that years ago, but I kind of gave it up as I moved to explore other things. I'm working on personal issues and also writing my 2nd and 3rd books that I'll be self publishing soon. It's interesting that you mention the 4th and last pinnacle in your life. As I read it I felt yes, it's ending, but it's not my life that is ending.... but what I thought life was... My REAL LIFE is about to begin, but it is the illusions of what I thought were love and life that are about to come to an end, not only for me but for everyone. REAL life (Bringing Heaven to Earth) is beginning, and that's what I'm working on now. Hummm, as I wrote that I felt how some people reading this post will say <<< EGO >>> but then I wouldn't be a leader if I didn't have one, would I?

I don't know any people that don't have some form of expectation... even me... As long as we still have our old imprints, programs and beliefs, we have expectations or to be more accurate (judgments and lost hopes, dreams and desires) The most common being how we fall short of the ideals we place on ourselves and how we would like the world to be.

Reed

jannokas (9/10/06 8:39 pm)
I'm speechless


Well this silence thing you are seeing would definitely come in handy as i'm starting to feel that i've suffered long enough in this info-vacuum. I feel as though god has cut off the flow of truth into me...(like a very important vein has been removed and there is not enough blood-flow). I would appreciate if god put that flow back on track. I'm pretty fed-up with having to always imagine that what is...instead of actually seeing it the way it really is.
I'm so glad this silence is the opposite of what i thought of. That proves again how incapable of understanding things i really am.
Without an EGO you wouldn't even be alive...LOL...but i don't think it's a bad thing to advertise yourself. What is your first book called?

Can also tell me what you mean by this sentence:

'The most common being how we fall short of the ideals we place on ourselves and how we would like the world to be.'

Do you mean that there are not enough ideals out there to live by?

Thank you Shenreed!
Love.
Jan

shenreed (9/11/06 9:55 am)
Re: I'm speechless


Hi again,

What I meant by, "The most common being how we fall short of the ideals we place on ourselves and how we would like the world to be" is actually not ideals per-say, but ideals and expectations that are in reality disguised self-hatred and denials. I hate my body, hair, teeth, weight, strength, being a man, a woman, a child, old, sick, etc. etc. We disguise these self-hatreds with a so-called more loving and positive approach; like I'm going to take care of myself and lose weight. I'm going to recite affirmations that I love my body. I'm going to make myself get better and not be sick. I'm going to remain young and get that surgery. I'm going to dye my hair. yadda, yadda, yadda.

Like I said in the beginning of this thread, it's not life that we hate, it's the absence of life. In denying and not dealing with our REAL issues, we put up a false face and pretend that everything is fine. There are two polarities at work here, where we (like the movie Pleasantville) politely and nicely mouth superficial rhetoric expressing how we and our world are fine and OK, or we !@#$ at our life and world and how we would like it to change. What we fail to see is that in both cases we create our reality, not in Love and Truth, but by our denials and self-hatred.

There are tons of lofty ideals and worthy causes out there but what they all lack is (Unconditional) Love and what they all have in common is denial and (conditional) love, and denial and condition love doesn't have the ability to face and deal with the real issues and causes. Until denial and self-hatred are exposed for what they really are, society will continue to go around in circles, trying and re-trying countless ideals of how the world should be, yet blindly unaware that they are actually coming from a place of unlovingness, "trying" (key word) to create a world that is loving, abundant and at peace, yet destroying it at the same time. Dah.... wake up! That has never.... and will never work.... Hitler had that ideal as does Bush.....as does nearly all of society.

"Food for thought"
Reed

jannokas (9/11/06 3:36 pm)
Reply ...


It's all true, most of the time on this planet is spent on conditioning everything. I admit, i spend a lot of time looking in the mirror and thinking: i wish i was taller or better looking and all that. I know the reason for this is the fact that i don't feel fully incorporated into this thing called life. I feel that i am not accepted unconditionally. The first thought is always...there must be something wrong with me. And that's natural. At least it has been so far. But there is no way that i find this acceptable. I do not like the way things work. I don't know how to approach my 'not-being-accepted-ness'. Thanks to this issue i am quite withdrawn a lot of the time. I do not feel that i want to go out and talk to people. I can only enjoy myself alone with my piano. Or well...there are slight good moments at work. From my personal point of view i do not know how to apply unconditional love. My progress in life is at its own certain pace. There is no way that i could go out right now and declare unconditional love...because i haven't seen it.
And i believe that's the case with most people as well. They just don't know what is this 'unconditional love'. Everyone has their own personal lessons in life and somehow things fall into place by themselves. So all the while...when evolving towards that dream of unconditional love becoming a reality...people experience conditions...so they can differ their true selves (unconditional) from that which they are experiencing. But it will all happen at a very slow rate. On a mass scale people need a hero...someone they can compare themselves with and say...this guy is so amazing...and hey, he believes in the same stuff as me...wooowww...i must be something special. But for anyone to be that hero, they need to first feel that unconditional love themselves...and the shift can begin.

Just my humble thought. Correct me where you see wrong.

Janno
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Unconditional Love


shenreed (9/11/06 6:08 pm)
Unconditional Love


I hear and feel you...It wasn't until August of 2000 that I finally experienced unconditional love for the first time in my existence and it was me that was finally giving it to me. Since then, my life has completly turned around and I can't go back even if I wanted to.

Those of us that FEEL, search for love and acceptance but are denied love and are rejected and are told that we are wrong for having such feelings while those among us that don't feel are oblivious to feelings and emotions are the ones that appear to be loved and accepted for their denial based lifestyle. Life to them is a bowl of cherries or a piece of apple pie as some Spirit Polarity humans have told me. Feelings and emotions to them are to be used and controlled to get what you want and to make the most out of what you have while you are alive. Problem is that those of us that feel, try to be like those that don't and because denial of our feelings and emotions is not our natural state of being, we struggle and eventually fail and then to make matters worse, we blame ourselves for our failure.

There is a new energy, a new vibration coming to Earth and it's called Unconditional Love. All denial based Humans and those pretending to be Human will be moving off the Earth Plane to their right place. There will no longer be the mixing of those that seek Love, Light and Life and those that don't. Ending personal denials and self-hatred is the step that will begin to bring these changes into manifestation. One by one, as each person awakens their Heart Centre to the truth, they will be anchoring this new vibration into the Earth and as they do they will in turn affect others that are ready to awaken.

Shenreed
"Healing begins in the Heart"

jannokas (9/11/06 6:48 pm)
Unconditional Love


Your reply put a sense of calm into my heart, a sense of real belonging. I admit...i am desperately looking forward to this beautiful time, when unconditional love finally reaches us.

Do you really think there can ever be such a separation? Could it be true that 'god' made a mistake and mixed us feeling-people and the not-feeling people by accident? I always thought that this is life: having to always defend myself, because there is always someone, who will want to tear me down. I'm sure they don't mean to...it's nobody's intention, but that's how i feel.

Can i ask you a personal question?
Could you tell me what went on in your life before the August 2000? I mean, what brought you to finally experience unconditional love? Did you finally open up after intense suffering or did this happen just suddenly...overnight...without warning? I'm afraid of this suffering thing you know...i have felt enough of it and i feel i might not survive any more bad feelings.

Janno

shenreed (9/11/06 8:55 pm)
Re: Unconditional Love

It's interesting that you mention that God made a mistake as Christians acknowledge a war in the Heavens and the existence of Lucifer and evil and sin in creation, but insist that God is perfect and unconditional love. Even as a child I questioned that simpleton belief because the hypocrisy of it bugged me even then.

I'm not saying that God made a mistake on purpose, but what happened in creation was not what God had planned or there would not have been the conflict there was and is... BUT, having said that, on the other hand, in order to know what love and life are, you also have to know what love and life are not... and the only way to know is to experience it without the foreknowledge of what you are about to experience otherwise you would know what and why you were doing what you are and it wouldn't be the same experience.

So now that God has realized and KNOWS what that experience created, and what love and life are, he has now choosen another blueprint for creation and this time with Unconditional Love and life for those that so choose.

You also said, "there is always someone, who will want to tear me down. I'm sure they don't mean to...it's nobody's intention, but that's how i feel."

Well I have some good news for you on that point and how you can change that. First off, there are those who have unloving intent and they do it knowingly. Then there are those others that feel, (like you and I) but are in denial and they do it unknowingly. One is evil essence and in denial and the other is love essence but also in denial and as such, becomes what I call the doer of evil. BUT, it really doesn't matter who is attacking you as the energy is the same and it feels just as unloving coming from one or the other.

When you FEEL you are being attacked, don't DENY your feelings and intuition and simply ask, "What is your intent?" If they are attacking you and want to control you, they (being unloving) and in denial will not be able to tell you the truth... They are not going to tell you that they are out to control, manipulate and belittle you as then you will have a choice as to allow it or now. They will lie and say something other than the truth to try to confuse you and get you to think that they are really nice and that you are wrong. Now they are the ones caught in their lie and denial and they can't come back on you and attact you as that would mean having to tell the truth and reveal that they lied.

Usually if the person is of Love essence but in denial, your direct question usually activates an acknowledgement of their true intent while a person of unloving essence will continue to deny their true intent. I think you get the drift of where I'm coming from. Try it and see and feel for yourself the power of Unconditional Love when we end our denials of ourselves.

To find a bit about my journey you can click on this link to one of my web sites....My Manuscript


Reed
"Healing begins in the Heart"

jannokas (9/12/06 3:29 pm)
Nice


This is certainly new to me. I thought everyone were loving...i thought the evil-essence is my own imagination...bad upbringing or something like that. Wow...i just don't know what to say. I never ever would have thought that i may be perfect as i am. Perhaps once or twice in my life. But not to that extent. This kind of realization is bound to come to me one way or the other...isn't it? I still live in this immature world thinking everyone are good people and i'm just imagining all this negativity and stuff. Cooooollll!

Will you publish your book? I can't wait to be able to buy it.

XxX

Janno


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New World thoughts and ideas


shenreed (9/12/06 5:06 pm)
New World


You, me and less that 1/2 of the worlds population are not immature, just ignorant as we have been handed this crap and we have eaten it up as the truth. What really confuses us is that these very same "feeders" are disguised and NICE, KIND and LOVING people wanting only what is best for us or to protect us.. "Beware the wolf in sheeps clothing" Does BUSH ring a bell here? He is one of the more powerful puppets on the world stage in the moment. Key word "puppet" as he is not really one of the KEY ones that are in control, but at the same time he is one of them.

What happens in reality is that these "others" feed off of our energy and they can only do that if they can keep us in denial and to do that they use our denied fears to activate us. Energy vampires are what they are... BUT once we end our denials, guess what? Their food source dries up... and once their food source is gone....Hummmm?

There's more, a lot more and I can write a dozen books about the things I have experienced and the insights I have gained and I'm just on the tip of the so-called proverbial ice burg.

Check out Saysame - My Blog
 as I've been into a lot of this stuff the past few weeks. You might also want to check out this thread on this board if you haven't already done so at . Emotionally, mentally, spiritually.... wore out!!.. http://p092.ezboard.com/fspiritualawareness84170frm7.showMessage?topicID=103.topic

Welcome.... to the NEW WORLD!
Reed
"Healing begins in the Heart"

PS: And yes I'll be self publishing my books in the near future... The first one will be a "how to" book sharing all the self-empowerment tools that I have discovered and use.

Page 2

jannokas (9/12/06 7:21 pm)
New world

In the new world i can see Eeevvery being knowing they can change the state of the world in an instant they wish for it. These new world beings are higly naturistic - working very very close with the nature. Right now these beings exist, but there are also those beings that do not know the power of their intent/thought/will and hence cause a lot of damage. From my point of view, people like G. Bush are simply not self-aware. They are designed to challenge the world. He is enjoying a ride that was created to do just that - cause havoc in the world. I am not seeing why the havoc part is necessary...

Do you agree that thought obeys feeling?

Janno

shenreed (9/12/06 9:50 pm)
New World and thoughts and feelings


Hi Again,

I feel you are confusing the New World with the Old World, the one as it presently exists. By New World I mean that the Physical World (Earth) as it exists will continue and it will change and be healed as you described, and a new blueprint of imprints, programs and beliefs will be created not only for Earth but all of Creation that desires life.

What will be moving off this planet are the Old world imprints, programs and beliefs that do not fit into the new blueprint. These old imprints, programs and beliefs can't be changed or destroyed as nothing created can really be destroyed to the point that it doesn't exist because the mere remembering that it existed, gives it existence. These old imprints, programs and beliefs along with all the Humans and all current life forms in creation that supports them will be moved to where they can continue to experience them, including G.W.Bush. There will be a separation, and the polarities of love and unlovingess will no longer be mixed together as they presently are and everyone will be accommodated and put in their right place.

I'm not sure what you mean when you ask, "Do you agree that thought obeys feeling?"

What thoughts and what feelings do you mean as there are imprints, programs and beliefs as well as ideas and concepts that can be considered thought. There are also the thoughts of our inner critic, guilt, shame and our guides and other entities that are not our thoughts but we think they are. Then there are also real and false feelings and our intuition and emotions that are sometimes labeled as feelings. And to complicate matters even more, we also have feelings and emotions that we pick up from others that are not ours and again we think they are...

Reed

Edited by: shenreed at: 9/13/06 8:38 am

jannokas (9/13/06 6:45 pm)
New World and thoughts and feelings


What a marvellous reply from you! Well, one thing i respect about you scorpios is that you get straight to the core of things. I guess i asked you the question on quite a superficial level. When i asked you if 'thought obeys feeling' i meant to ask which one is more powerful...feeling or thought? When you put the power of feelings next to the power of thoughts, then which one dominates the other? I know they exist in perfect harmony, but in the end of the day i bleieve the feeling plane is on a much higher frequency than thought. The feelings are so real, whether thoughts are like 'a dream' (i know that a dream is a thought as well, but you know what i mean). I mean to say that feelings mean much more to me than thoughts.
You probably think 'hey, this is irrelevant', but at this time it means a lot to me...i'm still trying to portray things in my spirits eye.

I believe i got your idea about the New World and i'm right behind you with that, because it makes all the sense to me.
I should actually thank you for taking your time and replying to me, because you are probably quite a busy man. So thank you!!!

I'm still reading your chat with MissLisa under this thread 'Mentally, spiritually...wore-out'. It's just amazing. There is so much happening, it's like watching a spiritual movie.

Your friend,
Janno



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I'm confused


jannokas (9/13/06 7:53 pm)
i'm confused...


MethuselahX mentioned in his latest reply under that firy thread that Jan is somehow an 'evil' name. Because you understand this much more than i do, perhaps you could explain to me what it could possibly mean? I'm not afraid of evil, but i am afraid of being considered ignorant...i admit...

XxX
Janno

shenreed (9/13/06 9:07 pm)
Re: i'm confused...


Hi

Join the club.

Just because someone makes a statement and claims it's the truth doesn't make it the truth, even if you don't understand. While I may not understand what he says, I do know what he is. There's an old saying, "Bullshit baffles brains, but it can never fool your feelings". I think that also reinforces a statement you made in the last post.

Reed
"Healing begins in the heart"

jannokas (9/14/06 2:06 pm)
Re: i'm confused...


You're right...LOL. My brains were indeed baffled!

You know i would also like to say that i thought about what you've been saying in your posts and how it all influences other people. I have to tell you just in case you're not aware of it. It's your leader qualities that drive you to see things in a very fixed point of view. Nothing evil in that. I have to remind you though that even leaders have to learn the art of speech and how it comes across. I'm sure you are already there and you know it, but wanted to say it just in case.

Another thing is that as you like to tap into people's dark sides, then that's what you get - a lot of that dark side.
See if you tapped into my 'dark side' what you will get is myself in my most basic and probably quite an angry version...that 21 year old kid with a lot on his mind... See i believe in the same tactics as you, i believe it's important to tap into the dark side form time to time and challenge it. To my partner it may seem as though i'm fighting him with no cause, but really i know this confrontation will bring new answers and new set of things. I am quite confrontation shy, but i do believe in it.

Janno


jannokas (9/14/06 2:49 pm)
Re: i'm confused...


And also related to my last post is the common fact about scorpios - you guys don't like to repress any of your feelings. But you know there are certain feelings that don't deserve any attention. When i'm reading your posts i feel you as though i know you very closely. It's just my observation in life so far. My mother is a scorpio as well and you know she went off the deep end by paying too much attention to that dark side. I'm not telling you to deny yourself, but just keep in mind that even god makes mistakes (tha't's why god created this word...LOL). Some deep emotions are best kept as what they are and not analyze them. You can't always expect perfection.

I hope you don't see me as a muck, but as just my humble self sharing my observations with you.

Janno

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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)


shenreed (9/14/06 3:16 pm)
Being Real


Hi again,

I watched my P's and Q's all my life or until a few years ago... I tried to mind read what people were thinking and wanted, what they wanted to hear and how I should say it and when, and what I was to do or not do and how and when to do it, yadda, yadda, yadda, but you know what... I could NEVER please them...and I always blamed myself and if I blamed them, I would then feel guilty, thinking I was just ignorant and being unloving...

Then I had an awakening and I have since discovered that I am not any more responsible for other people feelings and interpretations of what I say than they are of my feelings and interpretations of what they say to me. Meaning that they should watch their P's and Q's around me and not offend me or hurt my feelings.... and then I wouldn't offend them and hurt their feelings...

I don't "like" tapping into peoples "so-called" dark sides, I just do it as simply as if I were taking a breath and I have to say it's not always dark... If I pick up on their ENERGY, I feel it and know what it is and what I need to do.

You are not DARK but you have darkness within and about you BUT that darkness is not you or your energy....but is being held in your energy field by your denials of your feelings, emotions and intuition that you ignorantly call dark.

Let me give you a physical example. Suppose you were offered something to eat and your intuition was telling you that it was not a good idea, that it will make you sick. But the person was nearly nice to you and convincing and so you decided to give the person giving you the bad food, the benefit of the doubt instead of giving the benefit of the doubt to your intuition. You ate the food (took in to your body, your energy field) and almost immediately you began to feel sick to your stomach... Is your intuition dark and evil for having tried to warn you? Is your stomach dark and evil because it is making you feel sick, or is it also trying to tell you that you took in something that was not good.

The same holds true when we are taking about feelings, emotions and intuition.... When we feel something is wrong and unloving and we don't express (DENY) what we are feeling, we not only "take in" the unloving every, but we also add to it by denying this part of us that wants to warn us that it doesn't feel good, to accept this unloving energy into our energy field.

We as so imprinted and programmed that we truely believe that though acts of self-sacrifice, kindness, niceness and compromising, we can change this evil unloving energy into loving energy that wouldn't hurt us... That's part of the illusion we call Life.
Now getting back to the example. What if you had listened to your intuition and said no to the person that was trying to give you the bad food. Saying "no" in this case is self-love by lovingly expressing yourself and not unlovingly denying yourself. If the person kept trying to convince you and you said "no" again but they didn't listen and in their niceness they are actually trying to force you to eat what you know is bad... What would it take, and how far would you go to remain true to your feelings and intuition? ...Maybe to the point of getting lovingly angry and telling the person to "@#%$ off"... If you gave in to their demands, you would knowing be causing yourself harm.. and where is the love in that?

"Food for thought"
Reed
"Healing begins in the Heart"

jannokas (9/14/06 3:35 pm)
Being Real


I have been through the exact same thing as you and well...LOL...still am going through it, i certainly odn't see myself above you. I'm watching my P's and Q's now, but you know i feel that i don't deny myself the freedom of feeling what i have to. Very often i feel very guilty about having shown the full spectrum of my so called dark side to my partner, but i have learnt not to take it so seriously anymore.

Well i have a real life example to your sandwich analogy. My partner likes to buy reduced sandwiches from a nearby store and sometimes he tries to convince me to eat them, while he craftily eats the fresh ones, but my inner voice has always told me to reject them sandwiches...i don't know why, but i just know i don't want them. Perhaps they've gone off or something, i always say a very resolute NO to him though he is a very kind person i just know what's best for me.

Janno

shenreed (9/14/06 4:01 pm)
Re: Being Real


Hi,

Well you've addressed the physical sandwiches, but you've side-stepped and denied expressing your REAL feelings and intuition to your partner that you know "he craftily eats the fresh ones" while trying to make you eat ____? So what is that saying about your partner?... Oh yea.. I forgot... you said, "he is a very kind person" .. What is that saying about your relationship? "Food for thought"

I says it like it is.. not like you want to hear...

Reed
"Healing begins in the Heart"

Edit Note: If you're wondering where this thread goes after the next post, you can click on this link Questions & Answers > Unusual Question

Edited by: shenreed at: 9/19/06 7:02 am

jannokas (9/14/06 4:11 pm)
Re: Being Real


Well you are right. I honestly don't know what that says about our relationship though...
Thank you for saying it the way it is. Respect!

Janno


The conversation in this thread ended here... but it re-surfaced under...
Spiritual Awareness >>> Questions & Answers >>> Unusual Question

http://p092.ezboard.com/fspiritualawareness84170frm12.showMessage?topicID=57.topic

Last edited by shenreed, 3/Oct/2006, 2:01 pm
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Unusual Question.


 Spiritual Awareness > Questions & Answers > Unusual Question
Page 1


ashleighw (5/31/06 8:15 am)
Unusual Question


Hi there,

I recently started communicationg with my Spirit Guides through meditation. As I am just a beginner I have been researching and am finding myself with a lot of questions. An unusual thing I was thinking about last night...how does it work with Spirit Guides and people who seem to be of pure evil (such as rapists, psychos, serial killers etc). Surely these people didn't choose this life path with their Guides before they were reincarnated. And can their Spirit Guides no intervene to stop the person committing such horrible things? I understand a person free will, but surely Divinity can intervene to stop evil?

Does anyone have any theories on this one?

Thank you in advance

shenreed (5/31/06 5:21 pm)
Re: Unusual Question


Hi ashlighw,

Your thoughts and questions are not unusual, they are just pointing you in the direction that you need to explore more fully. I'm not going to give you any obvious answers as they would serve no purpose but what I will give you is some food for thought.

What makes you think that rapists, psychos, serial killers etc. are not connected with their guides and that they have choosen their life which includes over-riding their personal Wills and the free Will of others wherever and when ever possible. And (this is important) just because a person is so-called loving, nice and positive, that doesn't mean that they are not also involved in over-riding their personal Will and the free Will of others. Both forms are unloving, one is obvious and blatant while the other is more crafty and secretive.... one leaves physical evidence while the other concentrates on destroying the soul, the Will, from within.

Shenreed
"Healing begins in the Heart"

Edited by: shenreed at: 6/1/06 8:17 am

jannokas (9/14/06 2:33 pm)
Re: Unusual Question


I would like to drift off the topic and challenge that thought and say i don't believe that such a thing as destroying spirit is possible, because spirit just 'is' and destroying can only be there, where there is birth and spirits are not born...they simply 'are'...always witnessing that which 'is'.

Janno


shenreed (9/14/06 3:45 pm)
Re: Unusual Question


Hi,

You sure do get around don't you...

Well, you are off topic and as I never made any comments regarding your new topic, I see no challenge or need for one. If you are asking me what I think and believe in this moment, that is a different energy and a different situation.

You beliefs are your beliefs,,, and YOU need to challenge them to find out if they are true for you or not.. not me... May I suggest that before we continue this thread, that you give your "challenge " some deep thought, feeling and reflection and tear it apart, find the flaws, instead of defending them as truths. If it withstands being challenged, it is of love and the truth. If it changes, you will have learned something.

Reed

Edit Note: If you are wondering where this thread started you can click on this link Questions & Answers > I desperately need some advice, please

Edited by: shenreed at: 9/19/06 7:05 am

jannokas (9/14/06 4:01 pm)
Re: Unusual Question


That's very good advice. I haven't given this much thought, but it felt right. You know. I felt i had to correct this, because you said this exact thing and i believe you needed to be corrected there. I think you make things a little bit complicated by saying that there are such beings that are crafty and who are out to destroy spirit. Well you know i can't say i have ever met such people in person. Where are they? Who are they? Are they real?
I have met what you call the 'energy vampires'...they are these certain types that no matter how hard you try...you simply can't reason with them, you never get the loving vibe off them.

Janno


shenreed (9/14/06 5:20 pm)
Re: Unusual Question


Hi again,

You present a challenge and then say, "I haven't given this much thought"

You say, "i believe you needed to be corrected there"

Then you comment, "I think you make things a little bit complicated by saying that there are such beings that are crafty and who are out to destroy spirit."

Having said all that, you now go on to state and ask...."Well you know i can't say i have ever met such people in person. Where are they? Who are they? Are they real?"

And you finish your post by answering your own question, "I have met what you call the 'energy vampires'...they are these certain types that no matter how hard you try...you simply can't reason with them, you never get the loving vibe off them."

So exactly what is it that I need to be corrected on and what did I complicate that you don't understand as you seem to perfectly be aware of what I said and meant by asking me a question and then answering it..

I feel you need to take a break and like I said earlier,,, do some inner soul searching and reflecting on what you already know and feel.... but are unaware of.

Reed
"Healing begings in the Heart"
Edited by: shenreed at: 9/14/06 5:28 pm


Last edited by shenreed, 3/Oct/2006, 3:12 pm
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Being Real


jannokas (9/16/06 7:07 pm)
 Being real


I've got to express this emotion. It's nothing personal at you dear Shenreed.
I feel that with that last reply of yours you channeled some dark energy at me. After all the very pleasant conversations we had it felt like you cut me down a bit because i used this word 'challenge'. Can i ask you what kind of feelings did you feel when you wrote that last reply to me?

Janno

shenreed (9/16/06 8:44 pm)
Re: Being real


In your challenge question you mentioned destroying Spirit. I never used the word Spirit in the post you were referring to, I said Soul... and they are NOT one and the same and since you didn't pick up on, and question that, I felt I wasn't challenged as you were not even on the same page as I was.

You then come back with, "i believe you needed to be corrected there." and then you ask and answer your own question to which I reply, "So exactly what is it that I need to be corrected on and what did I complicate that you don't understand as you seem to perfectly be aware of what I said and meant by asking me a question and then answering it.."

I was asking you a direct question as to your intent and also stating that you, not I, was confused and if you took that as dark energy or cutting you down... so be it... but that was not my intent... but neither was I going to deny what I knew and felt and be unloving to myself, by trying to get you off of YOUR merry-go-round of confusion. I then suggested "again," "I feel you need to take a break and like I said earlier,,, do some inner soul searching and reflecting on what you already know and feel.... but are unaware of."

I enjoyed... and enjoy, our conversations as I feel you are Love essence, curious and searching, and as real as you can be. If I would have felt you were otherwise, we would never have had these conversations and you wouldn't have any doubts about what I said or meant.

Reed
"Healing begins in the Heart"

jannokas (9/17/06 7:28 pm)
Being real


Well i recognize love when i see it and you have certainly channeled it towards me. I feel much better now.

I've gotta admit my problem here - i genuinely thought soul and spirit are the same thing. In Estonian soul and spirit are expressed with one word. Could you explain the difference between them two?

I am heeding your advice and doing soul searching. I've been through quite a number of life's lessons just recently and couldn't imagine my day without meditation. In fact i'm just about to start a session now.

Lotsa love back at ya!

Janno
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Spirit and Soul


shenreed (9/17/06 9:33 pm)
Spirit and Soul


Hi again,

There is a lot of confusion between Soul and Spirit and I feel that it was done on purpose to keep us confused and ignorant. Most people deem them to be one and the same and they use the words interchangeably even in the bible. They are not the same anymore than brain and mind are the same. Present society emphasizes that the brain or Mind is superior and is therefore the controller of both our body and emotions (again more confusion) The brain is the physical organ in your body that houses the essence of our mind, our Spirit consciousness. This erroneous belief is also linked to the confusion of Spirit and Soul and is part of the cause of the constant inner battle we find ourselves in.

The following are some of Spirit and Souls respective qualities.

Spirit: Male, electric, thoughts, ideas, reason, knowledge, right side, giving, exhale, push out

Soul: Female, Magnetic, intuitive, feelings, emotions, knowing, left side, receiving, inhale, take in.

Spirit and Soul are separate, yet intrinsically connected. They can be compared to our present knowledge and use of electricity and magnetism. Where there is one, you will find the other. If you have a magnetic filed and you move it, you create and electric force and current. When you have an electric force and current flowing or moving, you also have a magnetic field. Whenever there is movement in one, there is always movement in another, but there is always the exception.

When we have an OBE (Out Of Body Experience) or we do Astral Travel, we do so with our Spirit. While a large portion of Spirit has left the body, it leaves a portion behind and is still attached to the body via a silver chord by which it (a) maintains a Life force presence in the brain in harmony with the Soul to keep the body alive by maintaining the functions of Heart, Lungs and vital organs, etc.(b) The chord is also the way for Spirit to return into the Body. While I've only briefly touched on Spirit and Soul, we also have to consider Heart and Body as coequal parts of our being.

I also want to leave you with some disturbing "food for thought." A person dies when there is either no longer sufficient Soul and Spirit essence left in the body for Spirit to maintain life, or Spirit has chosen to leave either prematurely or by agreement. When a person dies, it is the Spirit consciousness that leaves first taking ALL of its essence including the chord and it's ability to return and in so doing it shuts down all the electric functions of the Body. Although there is still LIFE in the Body, when Spirit leaves it basically leaves the Soul, Heart and Body without a means to function and although they are still CONSCIOUS, aware and feeling, they can not move, speak or express themselves or continue to maintain life without Spirit present. Heart leaves next but Soul has a hard time moving out of the body without Spirit Presence and it takes from three to five days for all of the Soul essence to leave the Body and as it does, those parts of the body start to decay and de-compose and return to the Elements of which it is made.

Have you ever wondered why the medical community is so quick to "harvest" organs from a person that has just died? When doctors do organ transplants, they don't use parts of a body that are de-composing because there is no LIFE left in it. They don't put dead body parts into a living body...they put living body parts into a living body... They are harvesting body parts that still have Life (Soul essence) in it. That also means that when a person is so-called clinically dead, the dead person's Soul and Body FEEL the pain of being cut open and dismembered, but are unable to speak or move. This is the Living Dead. Doctors even keep so-called BRAIN dead people on artificial life support and even harvest beating hearts in order to ensure a "living" and healthy heart.

And you thought these Doctors are nice people that are there to help and heal us. There have been documented cases of where the organ recipient has felt the emotions and memories of the donor. I got a bit off track, but it's also related and important.

John
"Healing begins in the Heart"

Spirit (inspires) by idea or thought. Soul (opens space) to allow the thought to move into creation. Heart feels (love) about what Spirit and Soul are creating. And Body (Form) is the vehicle by which it can all be expressed and experienced.


jannokas (9/18/06 7:27 pm)
Spirit and Soul


Hi John,

Thanks a lot for this superb insight.

Don't you reckon that knowing as subtle as that can only emerge in time...through evolution? This is very delicate knowledge and not a lot of people can understand this, hence the reason why the confusion.

You have also answered my question which i asked you in a different thread (''which one dominates the other - thought or feeling'') - i suppose it's the male (thought) which is more domineering, but don't worry i am under no illusions about the balance.

Do you believe that doctors are nearly as conscious of the cosmos as are you and i? I seriously doubt that, if they knew that they were actually removing organs out of a body which can feel pain like any other living, they would still go on and do it.
Actually does that kind of pain matter anyways? If there is no spirit to register pain, then who (exactly) cares? It goes unnoticed really...doesn't it? I understabd that soul is there, but how much do i feel what the soul feels if the spirit (which i reckon is the closest thing to me) has left.
Excuse my brutality, i'm more than certain you will correct me.

Janno

shenreed (9/18/06 8:14 pm)
Re: Spirit and Soul


You said, "Actually does that kind of pain matter anyways? If there is no spirit to register pain, then who (exactly) cares?"

Does that mean that if a tree falls in a forest.. it doesn't make a sound because no one is there to hear it?

You missed the point... Soul and body can still feel, they just can't let you or anyone else know they do...

Imagine that your body is completly paralized and that your heart and breathing have stopped and your eyes do not dialate to light... But you can still hear and see (if your eyes are open... but you can't move them) and feel things that the doctors are doing to your body but you can't communicate to them. You can't scream in pain or move away, you just FEEL it... without the ability to express what you feel becasue Spirit is gone...

That's also what basically happens in real life when you deny your intuition, feelings and emotions their expression...they still feel, it's only this so-called superior Mind (Spirit) that chooses what he feels and doesn't feel. If the emotions or physical pain is too much for him, he may just @#%$ off and go unconscious. And after it's all over and he comes back, he arrogantly says, "What pain, what emotions, I didn't feel a thing?" Yea, he's the MAN.... the BIG macho man... that will bravely and gladly let the Soul and Body feel and deal with what he wants to deny...... the unloving ass-hole...

Dah! And you wonder why we have this inner struggle with our feelings and emotions and illness in our body. Time for Spirit to take responsibility for his DENIALS, and his UNLOVINGNESS to the other parts of his being.

"Food for thought"

Reed

jannokas (9/19/06 3:57 pm)
Spirit and Soul


I see exactly what you mean.
Then again though, the nerves were created to keep us out of physical damage and physical damage takes place in one life time, which is a changing factor, it doesn't stay like that. But the spirit always stays the same...if you had the choice...would you bare 'right now' in excruciating pain or would you choose not to feel it? I'm sure you would choose the latter as well, because at the time it would be the 'reasonable' thing to do. Personally i prefer to 'stand and fight' - feel all of it. It has made all the sense to ''be-have'' that way. (be-have = behave)
Let's turn the level of difficulty down a few knots here and i would like to ask you - how much does all this affect us? How much do i feel of the souls pain...where abouts inside that process am i? Am i the integrated result of soul's, heart's, spirit's and body's work or ... where?

''Food for thought''

Jan


shenreed (9/19/06 6:07 pm)
Re: Spirit and Soul


Hi again,

I'm not picking on you, but while you may say that you "see exactly" what I mean, you do not understand or know... or you would not be making the comments you are. Understanding and knowing come from exerience, and experience comes from appling that which you know and understand.

Again, you have more confusion as our "nerves" are merely our electrical connections that send and receive electrical signals to and from our brain, muscles, organs... and also include our body senses of sight, hearing, taste, smell and physical touch. Our nerves have nothing to do with our intuition, emotions, or Soul for that matter as they are controlled by Spirit... Someone saying they have a case of nerves and that that is why they are frightened or feeling anxious are ... (I have no words....) Well maybe there is one or two.. "Bull @#%$"....

You ask, "would you bare 'right now' in excruciating pain or would you choose not to feel it?" ....My response to that is why would I let myself be in a situation where I would be experiencing pain? If I followed my intuition, it... and not my nerves, will keep me safe...

If however I followed my Spirits imprints, programs and beliefs, and DENIED my intuition when it was saying that this will cause pain... then your question is valid as yes, Spirit goofed up again, he didn't listen and the body is suffering the consequences of his unloving indifference, and, again, true to his reputation, of course he'd like to get out of feeling the pain he got himself and everyone else into and, like always, he doesn't take responsibility for HIS choices of overriding his Intuition or Body, and will proclaim, that it's not his fault....

This affects not just us, but the entire universe...

You feel, but you have yet to truly feel and understand what it is you are feeling and why.. You have the potential... as do we all do, to integrate our Spirit, Soul, Heart and body... and we also have "free Will" ....choice as to whether we do it in this life time or ..... in the next ones... Note I said ones....

Reed

PS: I was going to wait and see until the next post, but that would be giving you the benefit of the doubt instead of my Intuition that says, it's time to cut you loose. I have given you years of experience and insights and it is now time for you to study them and to do your own inner searching to see if what I have said is true for you and to apply those that are... to your personal life. It is of no use for me to continue to give you more.... until you understand and can apply, what has already been given...

That doesn't mean that I am refusing to communicate with you .. it just means that I will no longer be feeding you information that you are unable to digest at the present time.


jannokas (9/19/06 7:41 pm)
Spirit and Soul


Ok thanks a lot.

Jan

jannokas (9/20/06 4:11 pm)
Re: Spirit and Soul


Just so you'd know everything you shared with me hasn't gone unappreciated, i have integrated all of your knowledge into my system and it's all proving very useful indeed. I am eternally grateful!
Just to clear that out...yes you are picking on me...but you just don't know that i'm not a polite person. I also get this feeling that you reckon knowledge is exclusive...like only the old and experienced are allowed to know things...i hope i'm wrong?

Janno


shenreed (9/20/06 5:32 pm)
Re: Spirit and Soul


If like you say, you have integrated all of the knowledge that I've shared with you and you are finding that it is proving very useful to you, for which you are eternally grateful; and... if that is the truth, then I would have to disregard your latter comments. If however, your latter comments are the truth, then that negates what you said in the beginning, and you have learned nothing. Again... either you are confused.... or... you are now showing that you are a liar... so which is it?

I don't need to be stroked and praised for what I share and unless there is "feeling" in the words, the words are cold and empty... A simple thanks, that is heart felt...speaks volumes. I did not "feel" anything in your words of praise, so they are simply "words". I did feel a slight anger and resentment in your latter statements, but only you know what feelings and emotions I was triggering in you as they are your feelings, not mine. Is the anger and resentment that I am triggering in you, reminding you of your father, mother, or an older person in your past that you have unresolved issues with? Questions you need to ask yourself as you do your inner soul searching.

Reed
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Scared and Very Sad


jannokas (9/20/06 7:27 pm)
scared


You are scaring me...

I feel a lot of anger right now...i don't know why...i blame you...you are so complicated. I'm not sure anymore if you are a friend or foe...

I didn't praise, i added that just in case you believe that i don't deserve to receive your knowledge...does that make sense? You might have thought that i didn't take anything you had written seriously...i don't think i could deal with more than just knowledge, i feel that you are far too complicated...

I am actually quite bothered now...

Janno

shenreed (9/20/06 9:43 pm)
Re: scared


If you are feeling anger and truly don't know why... you can use meditation to find the cause and begin to heal it.. BUT... only if REAL healing is your intent.

There is nothing wrong with anger and rage as they are there to protect us. Like a woman about to be raped, that turns and fights with a strength she never knew she had, and fights off the person that is evil and unloving that was going to violate her.

What is dangerous and unloving is denied anger and rage. Say that the same woman was raped, but she couldn't express her anger when it was happening and she denied it. Years later a man innocently stops to ask her directions because he is lost, and she attacks him with fury and vengeance, because he said something that reminded her of the guy that attacked and raped her years before... That's unloving denied anger and rage lies hidden and smoldering and is eating away at the person from the inside, and until the real issues are healed, it will always be there, ready to unloving lash out at any thing that it feels is a threat.

I'm using a very graphic and traumatic experience, but the same scenario applies to even the smallest feeling of anger and rage that we ignore and dismiss, just to be nice...

If I activate you, go ahead, be angry. I accept your right to be angry, but I don't accept the energy of your denied anger. Be angry at me for as long as you need to until you find the cause of your denied anger.. Spit out your denied anger and rage until the truth is found and heart and love are born within you to stop hating yourself for what happened.

Your friend,
Reed
"Healing begins in the Heart"

Edited by: shenreed at: 9/20/06 9:43 pm

jannokas (9/21/06 2:58 pm)
very sad...


I don't even know what to say anymore. I doubt you're that friendly force i first thought you were. You are very reasonable and all, but right now i'm seeing that you are playing some kind of a dark and vicious game with me. You believe in the evil and all that and i have this feeling that you may be obsessed. Perhaps you have gone too far and become evil? My instincts are all on the defensive right now and telling me not to trust you.
Do you even know how you affect me? I look up to you, don't know why, i just do and everything you say to me i take as the truth...so please don't be horrible to me.

Is it true that you can see the reasons for anything presently happening during a meditation? I sort of have grasped that i guess...
Today i meditated and realized i'm very emotional overall...nothing makes sense sort of thing....i feel that the world has left me all by myself with the path that i'm on. Hence the reason i got upset with you, when you said you were gonna cut me off...i got pissed off, because i didn't want this conversation to end. I thought you reckoned i'm not advanced enough to speak to you...

There is a connection between you and my mom...you both are the same star sign and honestly i'm quite disappointed with all scorpios, they have behaved very cruel with me. My mom was definitely the queen of cruelty and i'm seeing her everywhere really...always telling me not even dare to breath too hard, because she's having a bad day...

I guess you understand now.

shenreed (9/21/06 3:36 pm)
Re: very sad...


Hi

You may want to check out My Blog ... as I have a friend that now also thinks I'm evil... It's actually a three part post and it starts with "Fear and denial" then moves to "Fear, denial and Activation " and ends up with "Fear, denial, activation and insights " Maybe seeing how someone else was activated will help you understand how you were activated...

I am not horrible to you... you just think I am.. and.... if it activates you so be it.. I'm not going to pussyfoot around with you "trying" to be what YOU want me to be, just because you are being activated and are having a horrible day...that's not my style anymore... If I got into that "game" I would never know what to say or do, or how to say it just right so that you wouldn't think I was a being horrible or picking on you..

You are actually acting like your mother, telling me how I should act around you... "always telling me not even dare to breath too hard, because she's having a bad day...

While you may think and feel that all this is bad....in reality, it is the beginning of a healing process ..... if you are open to it..

Reed
"Healing begins in the Heart"

Edited by: shenreed at: 9/22/06 8:40 am

 Page 2


jannokas (9/21/06 4:33 pm)
Re: very sad...


Really???

My god...well i felt that all of this was going to take an interesting turn.

Well i hope you realize how uncommon your approach is. You're not the normal contact i'm used to having with people...somehow you have pierced right through me. I wasn't expecting any of this. But i am open to it. All i want is to finally understand.

Please explain to me...(if you think i'm worth your spare time, i truly mean it...genuinely, because i feel i don't deserve to be talking to you)...how is it that i act like my mother? Do i send these signals towards you? How? Surely i don't expect you to act the way i want you to...that's madness...why should i want that? All i know is that you know something that i don't and somehow i know you are giving it to me right now. Hmmm...

I will read the blog. Thanks for that!

Janno

(I am too shy to ask this, but do you think you may be able to help me heal?)


Last edited by shenreed, 3/Oct/2006, 4:45 pm
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